Mga Pahina

Showing posts with label Bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bullying. Show all posts

BULLYING: THE MAJOR PROBLEM OF THE WORLD


WHAT IS BULLYING?
Bullying is a pattern of aggressive behaviour meant to hurt or cause discomfort to another person. Bullies always have more power than victims. Their power comes from physical size, strength, status, and support within the peer group.
There are three types of bullying:
  1. Physical: a person is harmed or their property damaged
    Some examples are:
    • slapping, hitting, pinching, punching, kicking
    • locking in a confined space
    • unwelcome touching
    • extortion
  2. Verbal: a person’s feelings are hurt through insults and name-calling
    Some examples are:
    • name-calling
    • unwelcome teasing
    • taunting
    • spreading rumours, gossiping
    • racist or homophobic comments
  3. Social: a person is shunned or excluded from groups and events.
    Some examples are:
    • excluding from a group
    • threatening or insulting graffiti
    • threatening notes, letters, emails, telephone calls
    • threatening words, actions or weapons
Bullying may be obvious or hidden. Children who are being bullied...or are bullying others may:
  • complain of being poorly treated
  • change their behaviour (for example, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, angry outbursts, being sick in the morning, become more aggressive towards siblings)
  • be unwilling to leave the house, change their route to school, or skip school
  • come home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises, new clothes or other items, or money not accounted for
  • talk about responding to others in a way that may result in the school taking disciplinary action
  • start doing poorly in school
The terms harassment and intimidation are sometimes used when referring to bullying situations involving junior and senior high students.
Harassment is any behaviour or comment that is hurtful, degrading, humiliating or offensive to another person.
Intimidation is the act of causing fear in order to force or influence someone to do, or not to do, something.
Some examples of harassment and intimidation:
  • name-calling
  • unwelcome teasing
  • locking in a confined space
  • racist or homophobic slurs
  • unwelcome touching
  • threatening notes, letters, e-mails
  • threatening words, actions or weapons
  • taunting
  • excluding from a group
  • spreading rumours
  • threatening or insulting graffiti
  • stalking
  • extortion

THE CAUSE OF BULLYING


The serial bully
How to spot signs and symptoms of serial bullies, sociopaths and psychopaths
including the sociopathic behaviour of the industrial psychopath and the corporate psychopath

Types of serial bully: The Attention-Seeker, The Wannabe, The Guru and The Sociopath

"All cruelty springs from weakness."

"Most organisations have a serial bully. It never ceases to amaze me how one person's divisive, disordered, dysfunctional behaviour can permeate the entire organisation like a cancer."
Tim Field

"The truth is incontrovertible; malice may attack it, ignorance my deride it, but in the end, there it is."
Winston Churchill

"Lack of knowledge of, or unwillingness to recognise, or outright denial of the existence of the serial bully is the most common reason for an unsatisfactory outcome of a bullying case for both the employee and employer"
Tim Field

I estimate one person in thirty, male or female, is a serial bully. Who does the following profile describe in your life?

The serial bully:

is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy) is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance
is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict is often described as smooth, slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic relies on mimicry, repetition and regurgitation to convince others that he or she is both a "normal" human being and a tough dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon is unusually skilled in being able to anticipate what people want to hear and then saying it plausibly cannot be trusted or relied upon fails to fulfil commitments is emotionally retarded with an arrested level of emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old
is emotionally immature and emotionally untrustworthy  exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behaviour and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse in a relationship, is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy holds deep prejudices (eg against the opposite gender, people of a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious beliefs, foreigners, etc - prejudiced people are unvaryingly unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial aspect of their personality secret is self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability
has a deep-seated contempt of clients in contrast to his or her professed compassion is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity displays a compulsive need to criticise whilst simultaneously refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence shows a lack of joined-up thinking with conversation that doesn't flow and arguments that don't hold water flits from topic to topic so that you come away feeling you've never had a proper conversation refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer is evasive and has a Houdini-like ability to escape accountability undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them is quick to discredit and neutralise anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors may pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to held them accountable, perhaps using others' resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organisations in pursuance of the vendetta
is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to is highly manipulative, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt) poisons peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression is arrogant, haughty, high-handed, and a know-all often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others

  • is spiritually dead although may loudly profess some religious belief or affiliation
  • is mean-spirited, officious, and often unbelievably petty
  • is mean, stingy, and financially untrustworthy
  • is greedy, selfish, a parasite and an emotional vampire
  • is always a taker and never a giver
  • is convinced of their superiority and has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness) often fraudulently claims qualifications, experience, titles, entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or bogus often misses the semantic meaning of language, misinterprets what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself knows the words but not the song is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication sometimes displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion of accountability and is often a committeeaholic or apparent workaholic


Responsibility

The serial bully appears to lack insight into his or her behaviour and seems to be oblivious to the crassness and inappropriateness thereof; however, it is more likely that the bully knows what they are doing but elects to switch off the moral and ethical considerations by which normal people are bound. If the bully knows what they are doing, they are responsible for their behaviour and thus liable for its consequences to other people. If the bully doesn't know what they are doing, they should be suspended from duty on the grounds of diminished responsibility and the provisions of the Mental Health Act should apply.